Transference is the act in which you may transfer feelings, resentments and past conflict onto a person in your life that was not a part of the original interaction.
That person is quite often your significant other. There are triggers that may remind you of lets say your father or your mother. For example your husband might like to watch TV a lot. In your childhood you may have often sought your father's attention but you felt and experienced that watching TV was more important to him than you.
So you get mad at your husband and the anger is deep and powerful. Most of these feelings come from your childhood. This is not to say you really aren't angry at your husband but the experience of childhood emotional neglect is heart breaking for a little girl.
Marriage/partner counseling attempts to seperate out what is the hear and now and what is the past.
Its brave to consider doing this and many times it is successful if the relationship has not already died.